Don't cry sweetie, cause it ain't worth

I have been feeling really down lately. I don't really know why either. I just don't feel happy anymore. My eyes are swollen and red, it's worse than a goldfish. Don't ask me why, don't ask me what happened. I really just need someone to hug me really tight right now. So many sleepless nights I have spent thinking, thinking whether I'm suitable for you, thinking if we should continue. Why don't I feel happy anymore? I don't feel loved, I don't feel good.

I did not pinpoint the fault at anyone. Maybe it's me, or maybe it's him. I don't know and I don't wish to know. I just want to know how to be happy again. Just like before. I kept telling myself not to cry but everything is pulling me down. How can I stop crying? How to make myself feel better? I really have no idea.. I'm suffocating.. Why are you always in control of the relationship? Why can't I be in control for once? Why can't I decide anything, why are you the one deciding.. I have been asking myself tons of questions which I have no answer to.

I'm not someone that you're proud to be with. I have nothing to my name. I'm not pretty, I'm not rich, I'm not even educated. Drop out from school and everything.. Maybe I'm just a disgrace. For God's sake, can my eyes stop welling up in tears? I just feel like crying everything out.. But no, it's not okay to cry cause people will deem you as attention seeker. Most people are curious. I don't need curious people, I don't need concern from anyone. I'm fine by myself, really..

Just so to let you know.

I love you, I really do.