2012 should end

Her 2012 is a disaster.

She's unhappy how she had her birthday, she's unhappy about everything slightest thing that happened on 2012. The only thing that can makes her feel better has been kinda ruined. The thoughts of 2012 in her mind is making her uncontrollably upset. It's only been 19 days in 2012 and she has been going thru hell lot of shits. She tried being a little happier but nothing can cheer her up.

The 1st day of 2012, which is also her birthday, all she wanted is someone to celebrate it for her. Maybe with a birthday song? Is it too much to ask? But sorry, nothing was done on her birthday. Nothing... She had a gift, a bag. Thou it was a belated birthday gift and she doesn't like the bag design, since it's her 1st and only birthday gift, well... She's contented. She's kinda down but she kept telling herself that it should be enough. Worse of all, her phone was spoilt that night when 2012 came.

It's the second day of 2012. She woke up and found no one beside her. Her mood hasn't been lifted up and in fact, it kinda went worse. No one was there to accompany her.. Oh, then she remembered.. It was someone else's birthday. So her love one was helping someone else to celebrate birthday.. No one knows how bad it felt on her. She was thinking... 'Hey, it's my birthday before that but why am I choosing the buffet dishes and finding the buffet for someone else's birthday 2 days ago?...' It just proved that no one cared enough to do something on her birthday for her. She kept it all within her.

The rest of the 17 days in 2012 went as bad. Quarrels, quarrels and more quarrels. It doesn't feel right to her. She wanted someone that treat her the way she deserved. She can be there and be supportive of what he does but... Why can't he? Why can't he be supportive of what she does? Everything doesn't went according to planned and it just sucks when everything just doesn't go her way. She actually had a plan which makes her feel better and she set aside a sum of money(initially) in hoping it will succeed. She was excited about it. She wanted to do something with her best girl friend. She secretly hoped that everything goes on smoothly and she can meet her girlfriend every week and maybe... She wouldn't be as lonely anymore. And maybe... Their friendship will be even closer. She really wanted it to happen so much but the plan fell apart. She was kinda heartbroken.

She's downright disappointed with her start of 2012 and wished that 2012 would just end right here. Here she is, tearing and crying every single day. It just hurts so much and it's too much for her to handle. She admitted that sometimes, she pushed the blame to God and asked why must all these be happening to her. She kept thinking that 2012 will be a much better year than 2011 and everything just proved her wrong. She hated 2011 and now she's starting to hate 2012 too. She tried to be more optimistic but she tends to be more pessimistic instead. She's hoping that God would help her up and makes her tide thru all the obstacles she had in front of her. She still holds hope in God that maybe 2012 isn't as bad as she thinks it is.

All she wanted is someone to treat her right and a best friend that feels like a best friend. Is it too much to ask for?